I am feeling unsettled today. I have been feeling unsettled. I began writing a chapter in my book that discusses an incident in my life that I have rarely spoken about. In fact, I don't think that I have spoken about it since right after it happened.
This has triggered anger. When I first started writing this episode, I was in a whirlwind for a bit and was having difficulty pinpointing my emotions. I felt shame and blamed myself for the incident. That scared me because I believe it is toxic and could be harmful for me.
For the first time in my life, I have begun listening to hard rock. Angry and volatile hard rock. This is not who I have been for most of my life and has come as a surprise. I have been Motown, jazz, classics - Temptations, Miles Davis, Pink Martini, to name a few. Broadway. Not now. I am not feeling rage, but definitely angry as I continue to write that chapter. This is progress from years past.
I remind myself that this is a journey. And I will keep going and keep writing.