Neverland (continued)

 

You will never…

… finish school.

… be like other girls your age.

… be considered pretty.

… have a higher education.

… date nice boys.

… marry well.

... have a successful career.

… be a meaningful part of any community.

… have a good life.

… raise children that have a good life.

… have wealth.

Never, never, never. Neverland.

Those high expectations that my parents had of me not only flew out the window. My parents did not believed in me or my future, and my self-esteem plummeted. Though my life moved forward, there were many traumatic events and as I look back, it is shocking that I survived.

It was decades later, in my early forties, that I recognized one day that I had no dreams for myself. While memories can under normal circumstances be faulty, at moments of shock or trauma they can be crystal clear. I was sitting in my living room and I recall the sunlight streaming through the window. At the time, it was a devastating moment for me. I had fallen prey to what others thought of me and, as a result, believed that I would never. Never, never, never. Neverland.

It was a turning point for me. I was determined that I would rebuild my dreams. I determined that I would have anything that I wanted to have and I would be anything I wanted to be. This was my moment when I found resilience.

We each have it within us. Subconsciously, I may have been pushing my way back to my hopes and dreams for many years. But that conscious moment was the catalyst for the rest of my life. I left Neverland behind forever.