Neverland (continued)
You will never…
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… finish school.
… be like other girls your age.
… be considered pretty.
… have a higher education.
… date nice boys.
… marry well.
... have a successful career.
… be a meaningful part of any community.
… have a good life.
… raise children that have a good life.
… have wealth.
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Never, never, never. Neverland.
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Those high expectations that my parents had of me not only flew out the window. My parents did not believed in me or my future, and my self-esteem plummeted. Though my life moved forward, there were many traumatic events and as I look back, it is shocking that I survived.
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It was decades later, in my early forties, that I recognized one day that I had no dreams for myself. While memories can under normal circumstances be faulty, at moments of shock or trauma they can be crystal clear. I was sitting in my living room and I recall the sunlight streaming through the window. At the time, it was a devastating moment for me. I had fallen prey to what others thought of me and, as a result, believed that I would never. Never, never, never. Neverland.
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It was a turning point for me. I was determined that I would rebuild my dreams. I determined that I would have anything that I wanted to have and I would be anything I wanted to be. This was my moment when I found resilience.
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We each have it within us. Subconsciously, I may have been pushing my way back to my hopes and dreams for many years. But that conscious moment was the catalyst for the rest of my life. I left Neverland behind forever.