Runaway (continued)

 

As a young adult, I began building a safer environment for myself. It took practice, learning from mistakes, and gradually changing my behavior which enabled me to make better decisions. But that pattern of flight took different forms and is still with me today.

I would no longer be considered a runaway because that term is primarily reserved for those that are underage. Though I no longer need to physically remove myself from an environment, for many years my first gut instinct when I was hurt or scared in a relationship was to abruptly end it. I often burnt bridges so that there would be no chance of being opened up to further pain.

I have to admit that at times that served me well. On the other hand, I am not the person that people search for in Facebook to reconnect. I learned to make better choices with age and have developed meaningful relationships that I will not give up on. But when something goes awry, my heartrate increases, and I still feel that “flight” urge – runaway, runaway.